Are you an aspiring writer? Do you have angst to work out so that you may once again sleep soundly at night? Great! Put down that bottle of whiskey and pay attention, because we have a few rules when it comes to submissions.
We like stories that are coherent. The more coherent your story the better your chances are of getting published. Things we don’t like are few. So for both your convenience and ours, here is a list of what will probably make us roll our eyes and send you a rejection notification:
1. Blood play. Hepatitis is not sexy. In fact, unless it’s pertinent to the story (think vampires) we don’t really care to read about bodily fluids in general.
2. Anything patently offensive for the sake of being offensive. Decent writers don’t need cheap tricks to titillate a readership, rather they use classy suggestive words like “titillate.”
3. Do not send a rough draft or even a third rough draft. Send a final draft. If we get a turd in our inbox it goes straight to the trash, which is not unlike cleaning a litter box when you think about it.
4. We love to read, but please do not abuse our eyes with blatant revisions of well-known works (also known as plagiarism, which is NOT the same as parody).
5. Do not pretend you are writing in the style of Hunter S. Thompson or Charles Dickinson. Use your own voice.
6. You can write a series if you like, but no submissions over 5,000 words please.
This is the part where you may be asking, “What do I get if I do this?”
Well to reward your curiosity, here is the answer:
1. You’ll be published somewhere else that’s not on your blog or in that notebook you keep under your bed.
2. There’s the potential to earn some money. We reserve the right to work out different contracts with each individual writer.
3. You gain valuable experience writing for an audience that isn’t on FanFiction.net.
4. You can work on building a local readership.
5. We will like you.
We are open to just about any genre. Here are a few that might help you decide what you’d like to submit:
1. Science Fiction
8. Action Adventure
9. Erotica (We hope we don’t regret this, because it is not the same as porn.)
You may also consider sending in some weird blend of these genres as we are not opposed to reading a Science Fiction-Mystery-Action Adventure-Horror. If it helps you, feel free to ask us for a prompt.
Ready to send us a story? Good!
You e-mail should read something like this.
From: YOUR REAL NAME HERE/SHORT STORY
Text of e-mail:
Tell us about yourself in one paragraph (have you been published anywhere before, are you pursuing a degree in writing, or is this just for fun – we’d like to know.) Give us good contact information. If you have art to attach with your story, be sure to send it along too.
Good luck and we look forward to reading what you send us!