Kevin Durant Vs. (Volume 2) … Barack Obama

Welcome back to another edition of Kevin Durant Versus, the Oklahoma-City column that asks, “How undefeatable is Kevin Durant?”

The answer is elusive at best and can only be obtained through pitting Oklahoma’s favorite son against anything and everything.  After a challenger is determined, a litany of tests comparing and contrasting each other’s basketball-related attributes then decides who’s better: KD or some other guy.

With the rules out of the way, I now present to you:  Kevin Durant Vs. Barack Obama.

Durant was born in the District of Columbia but later moved to Austin to become a collegiate hoops mega star.  His counterpart in this contest, President Obama, wasn’t born in D.C. but has called it home as of late.  This begs the question: whom does Washington really belong to?

Let the battle for Washington begin.  Winner gets my vote for President of the United States of Basketball.  Loser gets sent back to the campaign trail sans vote.

Shooting

On the court, President Barack Obama is sharp-shooting badass.   If you need proof, log on to Youtube to study some tape.  There you’ll find a video of the President taking on the UCONN Women’s Basketball team at a game of P-I-G.  

If you know anything about women’s basketball, you know UCONN consists of a cadre of markswomen.   Keeping up with them in a shooting contest is no easy task for anyone, especially not a politician who should be soft from White House dinner parties by now.  But Obama proved he’s still got some game by showing off his silky release- while wearing dress shoes, no less.

Not to be outdone, Kevin Durant is the two-time defending NBA All-Star-weekend H-O-R-S-E champion.  The title sounds good on paper before you realize whom he beat.  Was it one of the NBA’s premier shooters?  Nope.  He beat Rajon Rondo, who is great competitor but a suspect shooter at best.  Still, H-O-R-S-E is more competitive than P-I-G by about two letters, thus making the win more prestigious.

This is a tough one.

Slight Edge: Durant

Assists
Averaging three assists a game this season, it’s evident that Kevin Durant didn’t exactly become a star by passing the rock.  And with Russell Westbrook dishing around nine dimes a night, there’s no need for Durant to be anything other than a scorer.  But the name of the column is Kevin Durant Versus, not Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook Versus.  Sorry KD.  You’re on your own on this one.

Unfortunately for the Durantula, Obama dominates this category hands-down.  In a single act, healthcare reform, Obama racked 307, 006, 550 assists for that same number of Americans.  Watching the Thunder score points can be great.  But watching an entire nation score affordable medication and treatment is even better. 

Thanks for the assist, Mr. President.

Edge: Obama

Team Chemistry

Unifying a team of conflicting personalities is the mark of a great player.  Kevin Durant has led by example on the court, and the Thunder have followed.  The Thunder rise as one.  They fall as one. They help one another on defense.  They use ball movement to find open shots.  They are a team in every sense of the word, with a harmonious locker room environment to prove it.

Obama is having a tougher time with his team.  At times, it seems like a little more than half of his team is working with him, and everyone else is bitterly against him.  It’s kind of like if Durant’s Thunder had a bench of full of Lakers that didn’t want to do anything the starters had planned.

This is a tough one.

Slight Edge: Durant

Conclusion:

There’s no need for further analysis.  Durant is clearly the better basketball player.  With this contest over, Obama should go back to working on easy problems like economic recovery, the war in the Middle East and other trite things.   There’s no shame in that.  Sometimes it’s best to leave basketball for the big boys, like Durant, who will continue to wrap his brain around more vexing predicaments: figuring out how to wade through Boston’s swarming defense and discovering a Hideaway Pizza combination that will make him more athletic.

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