ADDverse Effects and Poolboy present THPPPPPTTT!!!!! A Raspberry Soiree!

We request the presence of two of your more important orifices. Your ear holes and your anus. Both will be sufficiently stimulated to say the least. There will be sounds produced at this concert that will enter your ear holes that are specifically designed to mimic natural elements such as the human heartbeat, lightning and thunder, and especially the rotation of the planet Earth both on its axis as well its cycle around the sun. The brain (optional) will process these sounds and subconsciously recognize them as the natural elements they are. Smiling (optional) is an extremely common and almost guaranteed side affect, although a very minute fraction of the human population prefer to “mean mug” as a display of approval and enjoyment. Here’s where the anus comes in. The brain translates these sounds to signals which are sent through the nervous system to the anus almost instantaneously. It passes by the mouth first, hence the smiling, then passes by the heart. Depending on how similar the rhythm of these signals are to the rhythm of the heart determines how much of the signal continues through to the anus. The anus will naturally start to shake side to side or gyrate in response, ideally attempting to mimic the rhythm of the original signal. (It is also important to note that in the cases of most women some of these brain signals will deviate from it’s path to the anus and end up in the sexual organs due to the close proximity of the female sexual organs to the anus, a usually welcome occurrence.) We generally have near total control of whether or not we allow the anus this behavior, however resisting the anal rhythmic movements result in a whole slew of health problems such as depression, anxiety, constipation etc. Allowing the anus it’s natural response results in almost unimaginable health benefits, in some cases even curing CANCER. No shit.
Show starts around 9:30ish with special guest Poolboy!! followed by yours ADDverse Effects truly. Admission is $8. Please refrain from ripping the sink out of the wall in the women’s restroom.
-Boyd